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Failure is hard to stomach, especially when when you put your heart and sole into something and it just doesn’t pan out. Lets face it, some things are just not meant to be, like that relationship, job, or business venture. Learning to cope with it all is a challenge and in this piece, I will give you tips, and steps you can take to help you brush off your setbacks.

1. Stop Dwelling

To dwell means to continue to relive the failure over and over again in your head. When we dwell, we have a tendency to focus too much on what could have been, instead of how we can correct the problem. Don’t get lost in your thoughts, and continue to internalize the issue you are dealing with. If it is worth saving, like a relationship, work with the person on how to move forward if it is what the two of you want. If it’s a setback with a new years resolution, brush yourself off, and pick up where you left off. Spend your time dwelling on a solution to the problem, then the problem itself and you will see a big difference in your attitude as a result.

2. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Self sabotaging isn’t going to help you out one bit so it’s best to stop beating yourself up right this minute. Remember, life is filled with instances of results, and outcomes, and that’s how you need to define failure. Failure isn’t necessarily permanent when it comes to goals and objectives. It just means that a particular way of doing something isn’t working. Failure is life’s mechanism to indicate to you that a different approach is needed. Moreover, blaming yourself for failing is just going to further exasperate you to the point where you are too upset to retry, which leads us to step number three…..

3. Learn to Accept

Years ago, I was involved in a business that I gave 100% to, with all my heart and soul. I sacrificed time with family, friends, and relationships just to make it work and in the end it just wasn’t meant to be. The business literally ran out of money, and to continue, it would require major financial investment. After a thorough analysis, it was just something my partners and I could no longer afford. We had to learn to accept what our limits were at that time, and in this case specifically, it was money. Sometimes in life, outcomes are out of our control.

We must learn to accept these outcomes, and move forward with a new plan. Once you learn to accept what the reality is, it will give you clarity, and peace of mind to accept new challenges in your life. You can only do this clarity once you learn to accept.

4. Seek Guidance

Failure is part of the human experience, and chances are your friends, family and those you most admire have failed many times in their lives. Seek the guidance of successful people, and ask them to tell a story of a time they failed miserably at something. Not only will this serve as a source of motivation for you, it will make your failures seem like nothing. Did you know that Col. Sanders, the man who famously founded Kentucky Fried Chicken, tried to sell his “secret recipe” to over 1,000 restaurants before one said ‘yes.’ Most impressive was he did this aged 62, and went door to door over a period of a few years until he could convince someone to buy his recipe. Now that is determination for you! Seek the guidance and advise of successful people who have failed at something. They will undoubtedly have a story to tell you.

5. Take the Focus Off of Yourself

We live in a ‘me, me, me’ generation. Lets face it, your problem more than likely isn’t as bad as the child who will go to sleep hungry this very night, because he doesn’t have enough food to eat. Yes this sounds a bit off key, but there are more other pressing issues in a world filled with injustice and inequality, that are waiting on people like you to help. Volunteer at a local homeless or animal shelter, or help your elderly neighbor with yard work. Visit your local ASPCA to inquire about how you can foster a pet, and do more than just give your money. Give your time. Take the focus off yourself and try and help people who have much more serious problems, than you might ever have in your life. This will help you take the focus off of yourself, and put into perspective how grateful you should be to have your life.

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